Silence can be a scary thing for some, especially given the steady flow of noise from social media, tv, mobile devices, traffic, politics, global events, and news. It can be hard in modern context to think of silence as any other way than exclusively bad. If you think of silence in the same way an artist may paint a picture and observe not only the colors, shapes, and lines, but the space in between them, perhaps you can see silence differently. Sometimes silence is full of answers. Sometimes it may be the unbearable repartee. Even harder to fathom is that silence is freedom.

Silence Is Full Of Answers

It’s normal to expect a response when someone asks us a question, gives us direction, or engages with us in any kind of thought or exchange. When that immediate feedback isn’t received it starts to impact how trust is perceived. Psychology Today reported that “The Slower You Respond, the Less Truthful You Appear.” That doesn’t mean that a slower response or no response should be an immediate indictment of untrustworthiness, but instead that our perceptions may at times challenge reality. A slow to respond person may in fact be more truthful than someone who feels the need to pontificate. A silent person may be using silence to communicate truth.

Silence is a communication stalwart. It can captivate attention when you stop speaking because the brain triggers a signal that something is different than what it was, or what is expected to be. So, the listener’s attention changes.

Silence can also be the answer. The absence of a response, words or gestures, may give a greater response to communicate displeasure, disagreement, disappointment, shock, sadness, or even acceptance. What it communicates is dependent on the question that was asked or the circumstance and conditions under which a response has been solicited. For instance, silence after finding out that someone you love has passed may indicate grief and sadness. However, silence after finding out someone has betrayed your trust may indicate displeasure or the desire to not endear them with any reaction, as you may feel they no longer deserve your attention.

Silence is not only the void of sound that has seen many an argument start over the question, does a tree that falls in a forest make a sound if no one is there to hear it?” Silence can metaphorically reveal a bucket full of answers.

The Unbearable Repartee

Silence as an answer, can be unbearable for some. It is believed that Author & Philosopher Gilbert Keith Chesterton coined the phrase, “Silence is The Unbearable Repartee”, although others may have borrowed it since. Repartee is when in conversation one replies quickly and perhaps in witty fashion. If silence is the response, then one can see why it may be unbearable as the anticipated rebuttal never comes.

For example, let’s say two siblings are disagreeing on decisions for the well-being of their elderly parents. If one suddenly falls silent, the tension can escalate as the unspoken words feed vulnerability and uncertainty. In this case, silence becomes the unbearable repartee-a meaningful refusal to engage, creating a void that needs attention. It is the weight of the unspoken word that leaves the other individual reviling in uncertainty. In this case, silence may appear to be a strategic weapon, but circumstances dictate the measure of whether it is for the greater good.

Silence may also be unbearable beyond the plural. As individuals it may reflect our own inner turmoil as we grapple with fear, vulnerabilities, or social discomfort. It may be unbearable from within as the road to resolution reveals a long journey of overcoming emotions that impact mental health.

Silence Is Freedom

For some, silence is freedom! The ability to choose silence over speaking out helps assert a perspective that you may be unwilling to compromise. It supports communicating a level of integrity that may be otherwise unachievable through spoken word or gesture as the opposing party has an opportunity to be dismissive. So, in that silence, freedom is found.

For example, in a scenario where one-party projects a superior role, leveraging words of shame or behaviours resulting in the belittlement of the other, silence may prove to be a liberating response. As the offending behaviour starts to traverse into misunderstood assertiveness that is really bullying, the receiving party finds freedom in no longer feeding the hunger of the egocentric, through silence.

Circumstance Delivers Choice

How and when silence is used reflects the circumstance that presents itself. For some a defence mechanism to stop a threat, for others a mechanism of self-preservation, and others a pause for the collection of thoughts, among many other micro-opportunities. How it is interpreted is as equally and easily victimizing and victimless at the same time. Whatever the case for its use, it’s clear that silence is above all else, full of answers.

This is an opinion article by Guido Piraino of  The Monthly Social Podcast. It may also be heard on The Path Radio Mix Online. You can read other opinion articles on the blog page. You may also enjoy video content of The Monthly Social Podcast on YouTube or The Path Radio Mix on YouTube.  For sports content, please consider The Coach's Call YouTube Podcast.